Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Good Little Fairy

Once upon a time, not too long ago, a tiny Little Fairy came to this earthly plane. She was a fragile little thing that felt deeply and was overwhelmed easily. Council warned her that although she chose a time of great hope, it would be a long, hard road.

She chose a guardian family that loved and protected her. She spent her days surrounded by music and art. She danced and played in the garden with creatures from many realms.  The guardians took her on great adventures to the outside world.  Eventho they loved and cared for her, the Little Fairy never felt like she quite fit and she was little to do what the others were doing. She quietly lived in her our little world of creatures and magic.

Soon it was time for the Little Fairy to go out on her own with the promise of being with ones like her. She visited the big castle and peered through it's window. Her imagination exploded at the possibilities and promise of this new adventure. The ride to and from was filled with song, laughter and a very nice driver. In between was filled with chaos, confusion and anger. The Little Fairy felt bombarded with feelings that were not her own. She didn't see any others like her, she felt lost and alone.

The castile quickly turned into a prison. The singing stopped. The creatures that she played with and protected her became invisible even to her. Altho she always knew they were there.  The years went by and the Little Fairy learned to hide her wings. She set about building an armor to protect her wings but she never was able to fully protect her heart. She tried her hardest to make her armor look like everyone elses but it never quite did. It never quite fit either, which made her awkward and clumsy.

For years the Little Fairy wander the land, battled windmills and suffered many losses.  These years wore hard on her.  The things she saw and experienced took it's toll on the Little Fairy. Too tired to move she began the long process of chipping away at her heavy armour.  It had grown so deeply into her it was painful to remove. Some pieces still remain but the Little Fairy's wings never stopped growing. They are becoming more glorious each day.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

New Beginnings Part 1

We started looking for houses in Feb 2012.  We had had few starts and stops along the way until we decided to use any money I had from Walmart.  On July 25th 2013, my departed father's birthday, we viewed an amazing property with a big lot for animals and gardens. It was definitely one my Dad would have wanted for us and his presence was very much felt. I picked this clipping as we left....

We viewed many more houses and fell in love with a few.

 It seemed like we'd never find home. All along the little clipping and I hung on despite not having much to go on.  I let go of a few things I felt were necessities and the Universe gave me...

After a horrendous move (maybe a future entry or not) we landed but didn't settle...

Now the clipping and I are ready to plant our roots. 

I have been reading E-Squared by Pam Grout

The first exercise is to ask for proof of what she calls "field of potentiality." I refer to it as the Universe. No sooner had I officially asked for a gift I saw this... 

Before I planted my friend, a bloom appeared

Beat up and forever changed I know I will thrive even if my clipping friend may have served it's purpose.

Divine Masculine

The Divine Masculine  

This being Father's Day makes me contemplate what the Divine Masculine means to me. I've never thought of Father's Day as anything other then in the Hallmark way. Unlike Mothers Day where I honor my Mom, other women in my life, Mother Earth and the Divine Feminine.

The word "Masculine" conjures up all kinds of negatives for me...agression, repression, control... as a child it meant protection, strength and reliance.  

In my home growing up in the 60's, the gender lines were more fluid.

These were four of the six or so men that represented the "male figures" in my life as a kid. Starting left... My "Uncle" Pete was married to my dad's very close cousin Shirley. He was always smiling and laughing plus I always found it romantical that he's gone against a lot to married my "Aunt."  My Uncle Carl was an intellegent, interesting man. My Dad loving, caring, gentle and adventurous. The man in black is my uncle Lloyd, dark, evil, scary. 

My parents best friend Dick was intelligent, artistic and musical. My "Uncle" Ruben was our neighbor, our families were friends. He was fun loving, musical, kind and inventive. As a kid, most of the men in my life had gentler souls then a lot of men. Their roles weren't as defined as most of their peers.

As a kid I dressed in both boy and girl clothes. I played cowboys and indians, dress up, Barbies but mostly I rode my imaginary horse.  Both my Dad and Mom cooked, did DIY projects, yardwork, art, music and took care of me and my sister. I think being grounded in the freedom to be myself has allowed me to return back to the fluidity of the Divine Feminine and Masculine.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

New Beginnings part 2

New beginnings can be a lengthy process. We moved into our new home on Sanheim under a full moon. 

On November 1st I embarked on a month long gratitude adventure posted on Facebook.  

Photo by Mike Elkins

I was mindful to include things outside the obvious. 

Yule and Christmas came 

some new traditions were born. 

Photo by Jennifer Uvalle

others were passed on.

Photo by Angie Uvalle

I didn't concern myself with resolutions in any form on New Year. 

Photo by Angie Uvalle

I gave thought to the blessings I have to look forward to this year. 

Watching the world unfold with 2 three year holds for starters.

My birthday warmed  

and healed my heart.

The following day brought the suggestion of a blog. So here I go after months towards a start....